Does Distance Matter?: Geographically Close vs. Long-Distance Relationships

Long Distance Relationship [img src : identitymagazine.net]

In this season of high school and college graduations, many dating partners are likely facing the prospects of being geographically separated. What should these dating partners know about long-distance relationships? Are long-distance relationships substantially different from ones that are geographically close? A first thing to know is that long-distance relationships (LDRs) are very common, with as many as 70% of college students at some point dating someone who lives far away from them.1 Even beyond college, employment opportunities and military service mean that many romantic partners spend substantial amounts of time away from one another. Scholars have accordingly focused their attention on whether (and how) LDRs differ from relationships that are geographically close (GCRs).

There is good news for LDR dating partners. Generally, studies find that LDR dating partners are not significantly different from GCR dating partners in terms of how close, affectionate, and nurturing they are with each other, and they are no more likely to break up over a 3-month period.2 Further, LDR dating partners actually report being more in love with each other and engaging in higher quality communication than GCR dating partners.3 These research findings indicate that LDR and GCR dating partners are more alike than different in terms of a number of important relationship characteristics.

Hopefully, these research findings will allow people in LDRs (or about to starting dating long-distance) to breathe a sigh of relief: distance is a common component of dating, and does not necessarily spell doom for the relationship.

source : scienceofrelationships.com

5 Things you should never reveal online

Think twice before you share [src: webconferencingcouncil.com]

You may love being online, but that doesn't mean you can reveal all. Here are somethings that should be kept under wraps:

Intimate photos or videos: Something that you post in the heat of the moment may come back to haunt you many years later. Anything that's once posted online can never be deleted completely. So make sure that you don't post something that you may not want you colleagues, boss, siblings or parents to see.

Your phone number: And for that matter even your address. Even if you think that you can trust you e-friend, don't be naive. Similarly don't give out you address for some lucky draw. This very lucky draw may prove 'unlucky' for you.

Don't post any abuses: If you have some complaints against you boss or teachers don't write messages against them over the net. For starters, it can be easily traced back to you. Wouldn't you rather talk about your complaints face-to-face with your boss than miss out on that promotion you were vying for.

Bank details: It's one thing to pay your bills online over secure websites, but never ever can you give out your account number or your ATM pincodes. Don't take such risk no matter what the emergency is. If someone asks you for such details be suspicious of them.

Minute-by-minute details: It's one thing to tell people how you feel or crack a joke a two over the net, but don't give out details like 'going out for groceries' or 'heading to the local bar'.

source : TOI

10 Signs Your Relationship Will End Badly

Have you ever gotten dumped and then thought, ‘I should have seen it coming.’ Often times there are tell-tale signs that your relationship will end badly. Here are some of those signs to watch for.

   1. Your partner has always been the one to leave a relationship. If your partner has never been dumped by someone else, if they were always the one to break off previous relationships, then you can be pretty certain that your relationship will end in a similar way. Don’t expect long term commitment from this person.
 
   2. Your partner continues to talk about their previous partner. If your partner is always talking about their previous partner, even if it’s in a negative way, then that other person is obviously still on their mind in a big way. Chances are that they’ll get back together with them if they are given the opportunity. At the very least, you are only a secondary option in their mind.

   3. Your partner treats you with disrespect in public. Do they ridicule you in front of others? Do they reveal personal things about you to their friends? Do they ignore you at parties but give plenty of attention to other girls/guys that are there? This is a relationship that isn’t worth hanging on to and you will be better off the sooner it ends.

   4. You find out they cheated on you the first month your were together. If they were cheating on you at the beginning, then they probably still are and will continue to do so. They will either leave you for someone else or hurt you enough times that you’ll finally end it yourself.

   5. You continually catch them lying. Are they continually lying about where they were or who they were with? This is a big neon sign that a relationship with this person is going to be one of broken trust. The future is certain to bring heartbreak.

   6. You have very little in common. At the beginning of a new romance, your differences can seem insignificant, but overtime, a lack of common interests can take a toll on a relationship. You will find it hard to enjoy your times together when one of you isn’t enjoying the activities that the other does. Eventually you’ll both want to go back to doing the things you enjoy and not what the other person enjoys.

   7. They don’t like your friends. How can a person be in love with you and not like the people that you like to hang with? Common sense will tell you that if they don’t like the people you like, eventually they’ll decide that they don’t like you either.

   8. They are continually asking to borrow money. This is a big warning sign that you should not ignore. Once or twice, not a big deal, but if your partner, male or female, is always asking to borrow money from you, there’s a problem. If they get mad when you say no, then it’s time for you to head down the road in another direction. Financial dependence is a terrible basis for a relationship.

   9. They are married to someone else. Yes, there are situations where a married person divorces their spouse and marries the ‘other person,’ but it is the exception rather than the rule. If you are in a relationship with someone who is already married to someone else, you are setting yourself up for heartache

  10. They don’t want you to meet their family. Don’t shrug this one off. When your partner doesn’t want you to meet their family there is usually a reason. The reason may be because they don’t want you to see what their family is like. No matter how wonderful the person may seem, if you are wanting a long term relationship with them, their family will come into play in that relationship.

Why prolong a relationship that has all the signs of leading to heartbreak? If you see the signs, the sooner you bring it to an end the better, for both you and them.

In Love, pain is blessing

Love is painful, but the pain is certainly a blessing. Love is painful because love brings growth. Love demands, transforms and is painful because love gives you a new birth.

Love brings your heart into relationship -- and when the heart is in relationship there is always pain. If you avoid the pain, you will miss all pleasures of life. With love you become human; you stand erect on earth. With love you are vertical.

With love are problems. But with problems is growth -- the greater the problem, the greater the opportunity. More and more pain, too.

That's why many people never love -- it is so painful. They never become vertical.

Love never shatters you completely. It simply shatters you a little, a little bit. It shatters the crust of your ego, but the centre of the ego remains intact. Then there is a deeper pain, deeper than love, and that is of prayer -- it shatters you utterly. It is death. When you have learnt how to love, and you have learnt that the pain that love brings is a blessing in disguise, it is beautiful, then you become able and you take another step -- that step is prayer.

All lovers feel a little miserable. They would like to disappear completely, but it is not possible in human relationships. Human relationship is limited. But one learns from it, that there is a possibility: if it can happen so much in a human relationship, how much more can happen in a relationship with the Divine?

Love makes you ready to take the final jump, the quantum leap. That's what I call prayer, or you can call it meditation. You have to disappear for existence to be. Love is a training ground, a school, to learn first lessons -- of the beauty, of the blessing and benediction of disappearance; to learn that pain is blessed.

So when you are in love, or when love arises, cooperate with it, don't try resisting. People come to a compromise. The basic problem that I have been looking at is that lovers by and by come to a compromise. The compromise is: You don't hurt me, I will not hurt you. That's what marriage is. Then people become settled. They become so afraid of pain that they say, "Don't hurt me and I will not hurt you." But then when pain disappears, love also disappears. They exist together.

When you are in love, love hurts. It hurts terribly.

But never resist, never create any barrier for pain. Allow it. And by and by you will see that it was a wrong interpretation. It is not really pain. It is just that something is going so deep in you that you interpret it like a pain. You don't know anything else. You are only aware of pain in your past life, in your past experience. Whenever something penetrates deep, you interpret it as pain.

Don't use the word 'pain'. When love and love's arrow goes deep into your heart, close your eyes and don't use words -- just see what it is, and you will never see it is pain. You will see it is a benediction. You will be tremendously moved by it. You will feel joyous.

Don't use words. When something new happens to you, always allow a deep look into it without any language.

source : timesofindia.com

Average couple argues 2,455 times a year

Average couple argues [img src : liquidsilverbook.com]

A new survey has discovered that the average couple  bickers 2,455 times a year - equal to almost seven times a day.

Researchers found that the biggest single reason for a tiff is not listening to what the other half is saying, which is responsible for around 112 cross exchanges a year, followed by money worries, spending issues and laziness around the house, reports the Sun .

Annoyance about over-spending, especially on impulsive or unnecessary purchases, leads to 109 disputes - with money in general being the cause of a further 108.

Laziness caused 105 outbursts while snoring provoked 102.

What to eat for dinner leads to 92 barneys a year - and 80 tiffs are about a partner walking mud into the house.

Driving too fast, walking past items that need taking upstairs and what to watch on television are the cause of conflict more than once a week.

Sex - particularly a lack of it or the timing - also causes 88 bust-ups a year.

The survey also showed the average couple will argue about disciplining the children 88 times, and have a further 79 disputes about spoiling them.

The figures were revealed in a study of 3,000 people, either married or in relationships, by esure home insurance.

"Bickering on a daily basis is all part of being in a normal, healthy relationship. The normal co-habiting couple will have to put up with each other's daily annoyances - even if they can prove to be very irritating," said a spokeswoman.

source : TOI

Things your girl doesn't want to hear

What she doesn’t want to hear (Img Src : topnews.in)

"Here are some things that you should always avoid  telling your girl if you want to have a peaceful relationship"

You look a bit fat in that dress
Now which girl would like you telling her that she is looking fat. A statement like this will definitely have you spending the night on the couch.

Your mom looks like she's your younger sister
Yes, girls love their mom, but don't ever do the mistake of comparing them, especially in the looks department. You won't score any brownie points by doing this.

I have the best time with my friends
You may enjoy hanging out with your friends, but that doesn't mean you say that to her on her face. Sometimes it's best to be diplomatic.

I can't go out because I want to watch a match
Unless your girlfriend is a sports buff don't give her this excuse very often.

You remind me of my ex
That's the worst thing you could say to your girlfriend. She will always be left wondering if you got into the relationship only because she is a mirror image of your ex.

My mom is the best cook
Women take great pride in their culinary skills. So don't ever claim that your mom cooks better than any woman in the world. You may just have to put up with burnt food for the rest of the week.

I don't like your friends
Like you love hanging out with your friends, your girlfriend loves her friends. Don't make your dislike for them so obvious. Friends can influence your girl to a great extent, so make sure you are in their good books.

Why do you spend so much on beauty treatments?
Don't question your girlfriend spending long hours in the beauty parlour. If you like to spend time playing football and getting dirty then she'd like to spend her time getting pretty. Accept it!

Wow! That girl is hot
Whether it's Priyanka Chopra or Angelina Jolie or just some random girl on the road, never ogle at a woman openly in front of your girl.

I need some space
If you feel the need for space try and suggest it in a subtle manner. Being far to open about it may leave you with too much space and no gf.

source : TOI